Police intercepted a gentleman attempting to enter a car — not his own.
A search of the man turned up not only an unlawfully stimulating substance, but also indicators of how the man was able to fund the purchase of that substance: a ring of shaved keys and several credit cards — not his own.
The man was delivered to a secure location where he will be afforded the gift of deep contemplation, if he so chooses, to reflect on the number of felony charges he faces — all his own.
A man passing phony fifties was apprehended by police after his failed attempt to make an escape via public transportation.
In the spirit of generosity, the man left several counterfeit bills in surrounding shrubbery.
Fraud or merely the exercise of laser printer prowess? This is yet to be determined by Lady Justice.
Elsewhere in Woodinville, police were contacted by a man who expected too much of humanity. He had left his wallet behind in a minimart restroom and somehow expected that no one would abscond with its contents. Why he left it there in the first place was not explained.