ANIMAL, MINERAL, VEGETABLE
April 21: A group of businesses involved in the renovation of a Woodinville building left their materials and tools in the building overnight.
On this morning, the first employee who arrived found that the deadbolts on the doors were not locked. He then noticed that someone had been inside and liberated a number of items, an air compressor, a computer, and nail guns, among them.
Additionally, the thief made off with lots and lots of copper. (It seems securing mineral leases is too much work for the criminal element.) Another employee arrived soon thereafter and called police.
The responding officer dusted the building for prints, which had unpromising results. He contacted all interested parties who might have lost something to learn more specifics. No other details were known about the identity of the suspect.
WHO’S CRYING NOW?
April 16: A Woodinville man was awakened early in the morning by his infant, perhaps not all that suspicious to anyone who knows anything about infants. But when he went downstairs to tend to his child, he observed that his front lawn had been sullied.
A plethora of plastic spoons and toilet paper littered the area, strewn about the grass, driveway, and home. No suspects were seen and there were no witnesses to the offending act. The man was concerned that the detritus was potentially a nonverbal communication from a man — a roof-cleaning solicitor — with whom he and his wife had a disagreement. They were not certain of a connection between the incidents or whether the whole affair could be chalked up to adolescent high jinks.