Police Beat - May 16, 2011

  • Written by Kelly Parker

Pry, Pry Again

May 4: The office manager of a Woodinville dental office arrived at work to find that someone had badly damaged the back door in an attempt to break in. She called police immediately.

The responding officer perceived that a large tool had been used in the attempt, but a security bar on the interior portion of the door had thwarted the suspect’s success. He also determined that this had not been an isolated incident; two other businesses had been broken into successfully.

Employees of these businesses arrived to identify their losses. (One employee advised that its cleaning service had noted the break-in earlier in the morning. The janitor sent her a text message regarding the matter, but for some reason did not call the police.)

In one office, the suspect pried open a filing cabinet that held the petty cash, which the suspect took for himself. While in this office, he knocked a hole into a wall shared with an unoccupied portion of the complex.

The suspect also visited a third business, where he rifled through its cabinets and drawers before moving onto a safe in which deposits were kept. This, too, was pried open. He removed the nearly $150 it held. The suspect may have left a fingerprint or two behind, but other details of his identity are unknown.



May 7: An officer responded to the report of a shoplift at a Woodinville retailer, where two young ladies had placed in their purses several shirts, scarves, and pairs of thong underwear (some of which appeared to be coordinated with the scarves — who knew Garanimals had an intimates line?).

Once their design was known, the duo was observed with the greatest care. To lend an air of legitimacy to their undertaking, each young lady selected an item that she intended to purchase, while neglecting to pay for the pursefuls of ill-gotten gains. (Taste was not a concern, as evidenced by the zebra-print wallet chosen by one of the ladies.)

After leaving the store, the two were stopped. They waited in an office for a police officer to arrive, to whom they conceded their wrongs. They were fingerprinted and served trespass notices; related charges will be forwarded to the prosecutor for consideration. 


Dollar Signs

May 4: On this afternoon, an officer sitting at a red light noticed that the car in front of him had expired tabs, which naturally led to a traffic stop.

While speaking with the driver, the officer could not help but notice the strong odor of botanical specimens, forbidden to all but certain ailing Washingtonians.

Two passengers – one of whom was well known to the officer – in the backseat of the vehicle fumbled visibly as if to conceal something. They were ordered to keep their hands where the officer could see them.

The driver was asked to step from the car and agreed to a search of the vehicle, after admitting to having some of the specimens. A backpack search turned up a large quantity of the suspected substance, some rather conveniently packaged, which belonged to the passenger known to the officer. He was handcuffed and searched (mysteriously, he had well more than $1,500 in his pockets).

The driver and other passenger were released at the scene. The youthful capitalist admitted that the profit motive fueled his enterprise.

Charges will be determined after confirmation of the specimen by a trustworthy laboratory.

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