How Much Is That Purse In The Window?
Unfortunately for a Ross Store employee, a would-be purse shopper was eyeballing the purse in her Kia Spectra parked out front, rather than the purses displayed in the store. With a quick rap of a blunt tool, the passenger window became pebbles upon terra firma and the purse with contents disappeared faster than a cat at bath time. Always remember: Locks keep honest people honest. Take it with you, or consider it a donation for the devious.
It sounds like our largest shopping area parking lot is becoming a favored target for foragers, pillagers and thieves. The only thing more dismaying than finding your window smashed and your purse stolen is finding your entire vehicle MIA. Just feet away from the purloined purse caper at Ross, a very bummed barista from B&N returned to her parking spot to find something other than her 1995 black Honda Accord awaiting her return. The prognosis for recovery is not good, as this is one of the most popular cars for parts among street racers. Bummer, indeed!
Picture Perfect Penmanship
A graffiti artist must have taken umbrage over a recent report of poor graffiti penmanship on a Dairy Queen light pole. This time, a stencil was used for a more easily deciphered dialogue on a fence in the Winchester Hills area. With neatness that would have made any teacher proud, the unfortunate choice of media makes us all pained over the trouble and expense of eradicating this rude rascality. Take thy “art” elsewhere and save the perfect penmanship for purer purposes.
In a caper rivaling the 2003 Antwerp Diamond Heist, a desperado described as a 16-18-year-old white male wearing a grey hooded sweatshirt absconded with an undisclosed number of Bic lighters from an AM-PM mini mart.
The getaway vehicle was described as a silver Honda Accord. There are currently no further clues to this brazen act of cleptoflamia. Concert-goers should be on the lookout for any suspicious flame wavers matching the suspect’s description. Don’t they know there’s a free App for that?