Police Beat - July 23, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Maximum Benefits

An employee at a retail establishment in the 13900 block of NE 178th Place took his employee discount to a whole new level when he granted himself a 100 percent rebate on food, clothes and other items over a period of time.  One has to wonder if there are also bite marks on the hand of the employer.  The Woodinville detective is investigating.

Kayak Caper

Unknown suspect(s) attempted to steal a kayak from a rack in the 14300 block of NE 145th Street by cutting through the D-ring of the kayak and its heavy cable.  This was a short trip to nowhere, as the kayak was left in place and the perpetrators paddled off to other places to pilfer personal possessions.

That Extinguished Look

Some people think that smoking a pipe will make them look more distinguished, but in the case of a man behind the theater in the 17600 block of Garden Way NE, the look was definitely pot chic.  He was cited and released.  It is unknown if Magic Mike had any amazing Spider Man adventures during his Brave but hallucinatory trip to the Ice Age.

Prime, Paint and Steal

A homeowner in the 18700 block of 143rd Court NE was taking advantage of the window of opportunity for exterior house painting conditions by having the job done professionally.  Apparently, they were professionals at more than one thing, as some time during the job, her credit cards and an external hard drive disappeared from inside the home.  Another window of opportunity opened for the thieves, as the cards were used shortly after the paint job was finished.  The window of opportunity for recovery of the hard drive has apparently been painted shut.

Police Beat - July 16, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Happy Feet

A shoe shopper in the 17900 block of Garden Way NE found that perfect pair of shoes that was just so awesome, she decided to put them on right then and there and wear them out the store.  The only problem was that they tap danced right past the cash register without paying. Yes, those shoes took them down a crooked path, away from all welcome mats.

Vintage Kleptomania

Speaking of welcome mats, one was officially pulled from a store in the 13000 block of NE 175th Street for a female well known for sticky fingers, when she attempted to shoplift some wine. How Merlot can you go?

License Plate Cemetery

The place where license plates go to die after they’ve been removed from stolen cars was discovered by a citizen in the 18200 block of 157th Avenue NE.  At least two different plates were found ditched in a ditch and were turned into police. It is unknown if the resurrected plates were reunited with their respective bumpers.

Hot Commodity

Something tells me that six months ago, people wouldn’t be stealing fans from locked vehicles, but the recent warm weather has placed these cooling appurtenances in high demand. A victim reported that a tower fan was stolen from his locked vehicle in the 17100 block of 131st Avenue NE. The balmy bandit left no clues behind.

Police Beat - July 9, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Must Be Hog-Killing Time in Nebraska

A fraud victim from the 14200 block of NE 171st Street reported that someone had tried to use her social security number to claim unemployment benefits in Nebraska.  Famous as the birthplace of Kool-Aid and the Reuben Sandwich, those cornhuskers can now claim fraud among their many noteworthy achievements.

Unlocked Cars = Donated Goodies

In three separate incidents, trusting souls left their vehicles unlocked and unsavory souls helped themselves:

Victim #1’s unlocked vehicle in the 14200 block of NE 171st Street was entered and thieves stole his sunglasses, blue tooth and debit card. The card was used at unknown locations.

Victim #2’s unlocked vehicle in the 13200 block of NE 201st Court was entered and his wallet stolen.

Victim #3’s unlocked vehicle was entered while parked at a hotel in the 14500 block of NE 145th Street and his vehicle registration, owner’s manual and insurance card were stolen from inside.

Lock it or lose it, my brothers. Lock it and maybe lose it anyway, unfortunately.   Love it?  Don’t leave it.

Sound Sleepers vs. Cat Burglars

Unknown suspect(s) entered the victim’s home in the 12400 block of NE154th Place through an open window while they slept and stole computers, wallets, cash, cameras and cell phones from different rooms in the house. The feline filchers left no paw prints or other clues behind.

Oh No!  Not my Car!

Car vandals were out in force this past week, with two separate incidents:

Unknown suspects damaged a vehicle’s windshield with rocks in the 19700 block of 131st Avenue NE.

Another victim reported that somebody had made a large scratch down the entire side of her car while it was parked in her apartment lot in the 14100 block of NE 179th Street.

Cars have feelings too, you know.  Maybe “Christine” will find her vandal and fix ’em in a Stephen King kind of way.

Police Beat - July 2, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Chick Magnet

Business owners in the 13300 block of NE 175th called police to report a panhandler drinking beer and approaching females with some moves like Jagger in the parking lot.  The panhandler was identified and asked to take those moves along with his failure to impress elsewhere.

Sometimes, you actually need to BE Jagger to get away with that sort of thing.

How Low Can You Go?

There’s a special place reserved in you-know-where for those who steal from churches. Unknown bottom feeders cut the lock off the garden shed behind a church in the 18900 block of 168th Avenue NE and stole two five-gallon cans of gasoline and the weed eater. No matter how bad the need for whacking those weeds, this crime remains unforgiven.

That’s What You Get for

Yelling in the Park

Citizens called police to report an intoxicated homeless man yelling at people within a park in the 17400 block of 131st Avenue NE. Police contacted him, made him pour out his alcohol and trespassed him from the park. Never cry over spilled beer.

Girl Gone Wild

A business owner confronted a female suspect running from the 19500 block of 144th Avenue NE with tools in her hand and called police, since there is nothing more suspicious than a woman wielding tools. The tools appeared to be stolen from a neighboring business out of an unlocked tool box.  The handywoman wannabe was not found.

Police Beat - June 25, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

I Want I-Phone

A shopper in the 13900 block of NE 178th Place took her eyes off her shopping cart momentarily, only to find that her I-phone had been spirited away.  Here’s hoping that the thief momentarily enjoyed the two cores in the A5 chip and up to seven times faster graphics with 8 megapixels and all-new optics. A retroactive “I want” would be an I-Phone tracking app.

Ding Dong—Scrounger Calling

An Avon rep in the 15500 block of 135th Place NE discovered that two boxes of Avon products had been stolen from her front porch after the UPS delivery.  Although the pilferer didn’t leave any clues behind, it is assumed that they slithered back into whatever scum-covered body of water from where these bottom feeders live and breed.

Dionysus vs. Ares

A concert-going reveler in a wine-related music venue near NE 145th Street consumed a bit too much fruit of the vine and was overcome by a sudden feeling of talent.  Police attempted to remove him from the stage area, but he refused to follow their fairly simple instructions.  Apparently imbued with intoxicant superpowers, our imbiber managed to kick all attending officers to the ground. The man was placed in a taxi to go home and will be cited for trespassing.

Unintended Presents

A parking lot patron reported his briefcase, computer and cell phone stolen from his unlocked vehicle while parked in the 13900 block of NE 175th Street. Oh, trusting soul, even when you lock it, chances are, you’ll still lose it. Please don’t leave valuables in your car unless you don’t mind “gifting” them to miscreants.