Police Beat - June 11, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Bench Warrant

A Woodinville resident reported a 4-foot concrete bench stolen from her property in front of her home in the 16000 block of NE 175th Street. The victim is purportedly installing a Kryptonite barrier to prevent future occurrences of this crime.

Feats of Strength and Thievery

In another incident which indicates a heavy week for crime, unknown suspect(s) stole a ¼-inch thick steel container, weighing about 1 ton from outside a business in the 18700 block of 141st Avenue NE.  Barring anyone turning themselves in for this crime, we’ll have to wait for Festivus for a confession immediately following the Airing of Grievances.

The Color of Crime

A female suspect took colored markers from a store in the 13900 block of Mill Place NE without laying out any green, departing in a blue SUV and leaving store employees seeing red. Our black-hearted thief should no longer expect the gray welcome mat at this particular retail outlet.

Passing Gas

The victim business in the 14100 block of NE 186th Street reported a white Ford truck with a 30 gallon tank on the back stealing fuel from company vehicles. When employees arrived to work, they observed the truck passing by with their purloined petroleum onboard, but were unable to identify the stealthy scrounger.  This business has had fuel thefts in the past, but hopefully, this too shall pass.

Police Beat - June 4, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Off Their Rockers

Police responded to the report of two suspicious men in the parking lot of a business in the 14000 block of Woodinville-Duvall Road attempting to contact elderly people.  It wasn’t a setup for some prank reality show, as the two were identified as magazine sales persons.  They were given the boot from the store property and I guess we’ll never know why they were targeting old people. Where is Betty White when you need her?

Grande Cojones

A budding entrepreneur sold a used bicycle at a business in the 13200 block of NE 175th Street and decided to take a baseball bat as his bonus on the way out of the store.

Feeling like he was on a roll, he returned to the store with another used bicycle for sale but was somehow received with less enthusiasm by the staff, due to his prior involuntary gratuity.

When confronted about the stolen bat, the suspect gave it back.

“Batman” needs to clean up his act.

Pool Shark vs. Land Shark

While keeping her eye on the corner pocket at a pool venue in the 12800 block of NE 175th Street, a shyster was keeping an eye on her wallet which had been left on the counter at the bar.

When the last shot dropped, our victim’s heart also dropped as she realized her wallet had been snatched and spirited away.  Never trust a smiling shark.

No Rest for the Wicked

A woman returned to her car in the 14700 block of NE 145th Street to find her car window broken and her purse and other personal belongings stolen from inside.

The thief wasted no time in capitalizing on the ill-gotten gains by using two of her credit cards almost immediately in Kirkland.

What do you want to bet that this pilferer doesn’t pursue their honest activities so expeditiously?

Police Beat - May 28,2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Obscure Space Junk?

Nobody likes surprises, so when a gal parked her car at work in the 16900 block of 140th Ave NE and returned to find dents and scrapes to the roof, she was left to contemplate the possible causes.

Ambitious seagulls dropping their shellfish wares? Isolated giant hailstorm? Mischievous lads skipping rocks?  At least we know there’s one insurance company that covers that. Bum ba-dum bum bum bum bum.

Renaissance Check

A checking account that had been closed by a business in the 15500 block of Woodinville-Redmond Road came back to life through no action or intent on the part of that business.

The account was put to rest once again and a report of fraud was taken by Woodinville Police.

No Hay Dinero

A female restaurant patron dined upon some south-of-the-border delicacies at a restaurant in the 13400 block of NE 175th Street.  When it was time to settle up the bill, the universally understood concept of payment for goods consumed was somehow lost upon this delinquent diner.

She was trespassed from the restaurant by Woodinville Police.  I’m guessing she didn’t leave a tip, either.

That’s Hot!

Two female shoppers were enjoying a girl’s day out shopping spree at a retail store in the 13900 block of NE 178th Place.  Selections were made based on the reliable opinions from the mutual BFFs on the hotness factor of each item.

The hotness of their selections was undeniably confirmed outside of the store, as there was no evidence of payment to be found. They were cited into court for misdemeanor theft and released.

Police Beat - May 21, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

What Goes Up Must Come Down …

… except when you’re talking about gas prices. They’re up, then down, then up again.  Who can keep track anymore? One petroleum consumer apparently became so confused about gas futures and pricing fluctuations, that he mistook a company truck in the 15000 block of Woodinville Redmond Road for a fuel pump and proceeded to empty the tank after severing the fuel line. There was no payment or other clues left behind.

Catch Me If You Can

A Woodinville officer made a traffic stop on a suspect vehicle for speeding in the 13900 block of NE 175th Street. The officer ordered the suspect to “stay” while investigating a possible vehicle theft. The suspect must have attended the same obedience school as my dog, as he proceeded to run from the officer who then chased him on foot. He made it back to his vehicle and drove away, attempting to elude the pursuing officer. The officer rammed the vehicle in a parking lot and arrested the driver for a suspended license, attempting to elude and being off-leash. He was booked into the King County Jail.

Sounds a Lot Like Larceny

An unknown male suspect targeted a sound system from a store in the 13900 block of NE 178th Place.  This particular guest decided to take the concept of expecting more while paying less to an extreme by passing up the store’s friendly team members standing by at numerous cash registers and absconding without paying.  He departed in a blue or green Toyota Corolla leaving team members seeing red.

Doggone It!

The victim returned to his home in the 17900 block of 164th Avenue NE to find the door from his garage to the house kicked in and several easy-to-carry items stolen from inside. Entry to the garage was made through the doggy door. The dog is refusing to discuss the incident or provide a description of the thief, having possibly been bribed by biscuits.

Police Beat - May 14, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Cat Fight!

A shopper outside of a pet-oriented retail establishment in the 17800 block of Garden Way NE must have been feeling those animal pheromones when she decided to jump on the back of another patron in the parking lot in front of the store.

Apparently, there was a disagreement over the ownership of a coveted feline which had been up for adoption at that facility.

Once the fur stopped flying, a charge of fourth degree assault was levied.  Hissssssss.

Snooki Would Not Approve

A victim got a call from VISA Fraud Prevention stating that her card had been used for a purchase at a Staples store in New Jersey.

The victim still has the VISA card in her possession, has never been to New Jersey and has never even watched Jersey Shore on TV.

The unauthorized use of her card was designated as a fraudulent purchase.  That was easy.

I’m The Sickest of Them All!

Sometimes, the waiting times at urgent care centers seem excessive at best.

Patients may end up sizing up the seriousness of other people’s illnesses and injuries compared to their own and take umbrage at the order in which the cases are triaged.

It’s truly best to keep those evaluations to yourself, because one sure-fire way of losing your place in line is to create a disturbance which requires police intervention.

Such a disturbance occurred at an urgent care center near the 16900 block of 140th Avenue NE.  Our combative client had the dubious honor of adding “bruised ego” to the list of medical complaints as they were escorted off the premises.

Car Crimes

There have been plenty of car prowls to report recently, but thieves have been upping their game this past week.

Not satisfied with absconding with the goodies contained therein, these pirates have been purloining the entire vehicle:

One victim returned from a theater in the 17600 block of Garden Way NE to find that their tan Nissan Sentra had gone missing sometime between 2100 and 2330.

Another victim discovered their brand new VW Passat stolen sometime during the night from in front of their home in the 13200 block of NE 145th Place.

There were no clues left behind.