Police Beat - April 18, 2011

  • Written by Kelly Parker

Smoked Out

April 5: A vacant Woodinville home that has long been on the market was invaded by a group of teenagers seeking a refuge where they could indulge their smoking habit(s).

An officer was sent to investigate the property, which caretakers had tried to secure.

He found the security measures thwarted and entered the home by a door that had been left ajar after having been forced open.

Numerous signs of recent habitation were visible and careful inspection revealed a human in active concealment mode.

After making his presence known and ordering any people present to leave the home, he went outside to await backup to assist him.

After some moments, three gents and one lady exited the home. All were detained.

The officer resumed searching the residence, where he found smokable botanical specimens.

He noted that the basement of the home appeared to have been "lived in" for some length of time, with a blanket, mattress and items of clothing left behind.

Additionally a concrete wall in the basement had been entirely covered in chalk drawings (and a poem or two).

The young men refused to make statements, but the young lady admitted she had intended to use the house as a smoking den and as a place to fulfill her artistic, herbally inspired yearnings.

Trespass charges have been forwarded to the prosecutor for consideration.



April 9: An officer observed two vehicles that appeared to be engaged in a time-honored manifestation of male competitive expression: racing.

Sadly this is not a manifestation suited for city streets, especially when it requires the officer to reach speeds of 80 miles per hour in a zone posted for 45mph.

The gentlemen, once the traffic stop was effected, initially denied that they had been racing, but then admitted to what would have been plainly evident to anyone vaguely conscious. They described their actions as "stupid." Citations in accord with this stupidity were duly issued.


Baby Boy

April 6: An area woman reported that the tires of her vehicle had been slashed and the officer en route to investigate observed the suspect described to him — the reporting party’s son — ambling down the street with his girlfriend. The man was stopped and patted down for weapons.

On his person was found to be a sturdy plastic knife; his companion had a 3-inch folding knife of the conventional sort.

He was arrested on suspicion of malicious mischief (being an intransigent, ungrateful child has not yet been outlawed by the powers that be in Olympia).

He explained that he had been in an argument with his mother after she refused to give him his food stamps and cell phone (which, it was later learned, she pays for).

His overall aspiration had been to sit in the back of her vehicle to prevent her from leaving.

He gave up on this, however, and left the vehicle. He denied slashing its tires.

His mother’s statement confirmed many of these circumstances, saying he had decided to sit in the vehicle until he "got what he wanted. What he didn’t know is that my battery is dead and I wasn’t going anywhere soon."

She observed him get out of the vehicle and slash two of its tires. She also agreed to assist in prosecution. Thus all will eagerly await the fun bound to ensue at the family’s next holiday gathering!

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