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Police Beat - Nov. 7, 2011

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

CANOE CAPER

A puzzled paddler returned to this car in a hotel lot and found the canoe MIA.  The poached pirogue had been securely locked to the vehicle’s overhead rack prior to the owner’s indoor excursion.

Here’s hoping that the pilferer finds himself up a very large creek without the paddle.

ROPE-A-DOPE

Two employees at a business apparently mistook their office for a boxing ring.

After some floating like butterflies and stinging like bees, a computer printer joined the fracas, delivering a cut to the chin of one of the pugilists.

The match was called at this point, with the uninjured employee being cited for investigation of assault.

The printer remains undefeated.

POOR PENMANSHIP

One of the greatest worries being brought about by the “age of computers” is that proper penmanship will go by the wayside.

This was the case near the Dairy Queen, where a pole had been graffitied in red paint in a manner which was completely undecipherable.

Several interpretations were proffered, but alas, public works crews were on the scene covering up the mysterious message before further analysis could occur.

WHEN BATHROOMS LOOK LIKE BEDROOMS

Have you ever been just so doggoned tired that you decided to turn in right then and there?

This is usually a good idea, unless you happen to be in a store bathroom stall at the time.

Perhaps a sudden urge to slumber wasn’t the proximate cause for the particularly deep state of REM our Mr. Van Winkle was found in.

His failure to respond to the usual sleep busting moves indicated a level of intoxication and incapacitation normally relegated to those imbibers of vast quantities of adult beverages.

Yes, indeed, “Rip” was ripped.

He was taken by ambulance to a Seattle de-tox facility for 40 more winks.

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