Police Beat - June 17, 2013

  • Written by from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Teamwork was used by two contrarian thieves who used the classic diversionary gambit to make off with a full rack of cigarette lighters, defying conventional wisdom’s dictate that cigarettes have the higher street value. (Clearly this scrivener’s inability to comprehend this sort of thing disqualifies her for a life of crime.)

One individual made a purchase while the other removed the rack and hid it behind a garbage receptacle outdoors.

After the operation was complete, the two were observed placing the rack into their getaway car before leaving the scene.

An aspiring swain placed a Craigslist posting seeking an intimate encounter open to any takers — which can be read, perhaps, as being refreshingly open minded or utterly desperate — willing to meet him in a Woodinville parking lot “during the lunch hour,” a time of day renowned for its air of romance.

This cry for companionship, helpfully including the poster’s photograph, came to the attention of police, who found it in poor taste.

They responded to the man’s overture to confront him with their disapproval at the appointed parking lot, a property from which the unfortunate man received a trespass notice.

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