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Woodinville Chainsaw Massacre

O.K., it wasn’t a massacre, but that caught your attention, didn’t it?

Would you believe a chainsaw heist?  Unknown suspect(s) cut the lock from a business in the 13600 block of NE 175th Street and absconded with a chainsaw.  There was no blood, guts or other clues left behind.

Tool Time

In another crime against construction materials, unknown suspect(s) entered a construction site in the 14100 block of NE Woodinville-Duvall Road through an unlocked door.  Once inside, they helped themselves to various and sundry fabrication appurtenances.

Where Oh Where Has My Mail Gone?

An alert citizen found some mail in the street near the 19700 block of 159th Court NE and returned it to the addressee.

Further investigation showed that multiple mailboxes in the same area had their mail stolen.

It appears that the mailbox bandit has made a clean getaway.

Food for Thought

Two individuals didn’t get too far into the New Year before they broke their resolutions regarding groceries — as in paying for them.

A male and a female made their food selections in the 17600 block of Garden Way NE and then exited the premises without making that mandatory stop at the check stand.

Both suspects were cited and released pending theft charges.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Everyone down in Woodinville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, roaming the 12600 block of NE 166th Court, did not.

The Grinch hated Christmas - the whole Christmas season. Now, please don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason.

He spied a car in the drive and schemed a heist of its contents —“It’s all mine!” he sneered and started filling his pockets.

An IPOD, a GPS, and that wasn’t all; Every last Christmas present in there was part of his haul.

How could he do this, during this season of light? It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all ...  may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

The Grinch moved on to the 14600 block of NE 180th Place, taking watches and jewelry, he was setting a pace.

A computer he saw, so he took that, too, but that wasn’t all he had planned to do.

On to the 19400 block of 144th Avenue NE he proceeded, breaking the front door of the business to see what else he needed.

He stole a cash drawer with loose pieces of change, but another target was sought that was still within range.

A wallet was stolen from a sweet young lass—right out of her backpack, sometime during class.

That mean old Grinch — He still wasn’t through.  He was about to make another Woodinivllian blue.

Before his villainous plan could unravel, off to the 18600 block of 142nd Avenue NE he would travel.

With bolt cutters, into the work trailer he broke.  After stealing the tools, he once again spoke:

“No one can catch me —I’m quick as a flash.  If I could, I’d steal the last can of Woodinvillian hash.”

The 12400 block of NE Woodinville Drive, was the final spot for his thievery to thrive.

A purse and other items were taken from there, leaving the victim to suffer unneeded despair.

“You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch / You’re a nasty, wasty skunk / Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk / Mr. Gri-inch / The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: Stink, stank, stunk!”

With special thanks to Dr. Seuss

Spice of Life

Two enterprising fellows visited an area provider of cellular services where they liberated two display phones.

An enterprising employee gave chase, only to be rewarded with a dash of pepper spray for his dedication and loyalty.

Oasis!

A very thirsty criminal burst through the drive-through window of a Woodinville business with an eye toward taking a change drawer and cash register.

Undisclosed beverages were also absconded with, the thief perhaps fearing any germs that could be contracted by contact with a drinking fountain.

Little Drugger Boy

Come, they told police

Pa, rum, pa, pum, pum

Suspicious activity

Pa, rum, pa, pum, pum

They went immediately

Pa, rum, pa, pum, pum

To the 17400 block of 131st Ave NE

Pa, rum, pa, pum, pum

Rum, pa, pum, pum, rum, pa, pum, pum

Police did not find any frankincense or myrrh, but found other suspicious substances in the possession of our merry mischief makers.  The vehicle was towed until a search warrant was obtained, and as a result of the search warrant, additional narcotics and suspected stolen finest gifts were seized.  The suspects were arrested, and will have their chance to play their drums for the judge.

Dashing Through the Parking Lot …

… without his one horse open sleigh.  Over the hill he tried to go with the loss prevention officer following  all the way.  The next sound the suspect heard after being led away from the 17600 block of Garden Way NE was the jingling of the jail cell door closing behind him, due to an outstanding warrant.  Ho ho ho!

’Tis the season …

… for high tech thievery. Unknown suspect(s) shattered the rear window of a victim’s Lexus SUV in the 14800 block of NE 145th Street and stole a laptop computer, an iPOD and iPAD from the back seat.

A burglar in the 13200 block of NE 186th Street entered the residence by unknown means and removed three cameras and a Kindle Fire, then decided to make their way to the top of the naughty list with the additional theft of jewelry.

Looks like someone’s getting a low tech lump of coal for Christmas.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Larceny …

… everywhere you go. Well, at least at the 17900 block of Garden Way NE, where two subjects removed three pairs of shoes from the store without paying. The suspects were observed with their hopalong boots in tow, driving away from the scene in a beige sedan. All five and 10 stores (especially the ones glistening once again) should be on alert and keep a special watch on those dolls that will talk and will go for a walk.