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Addressing Key Frustrations With Your Child

  • Written by Maren Stark Schmidt

"If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I in the pits?" The late Erma Bombeck knew how to see the humor in day-to-day reality.

Maintaining a positive and forward moving life is a challenge to say the least.  Life has a way of helping us misplace our sense of humor in a hurry. Some days the sailing is smooth with fluffy breezes, while on others we might have to restrain ourselves from self-inflicted baldness.

In our efforts to fix problems, we might be best served by stepping back and examining our frustrations. Instead of trying to affix blame by saying "that’s your fault’ or "that’s my fault," we need to understand why the problem occurred.  Let’s ask instead,  "What is causing this frustration?"

Consider what is going on at the moment you feel frustrated and jot it in a notebook. I used to keep a slip of paper in my pocket to capture those instances then transfer my annoyances to a notebook. These incidents included people being late for appointments, telephone interruptions, spilled foods, children squabbling, stopping an activity to prepare snacks, etc.  I’d record the day, time and event in my notebook and any other issues that I thought might be of value.  

Noting these rough spots helped me ascertain the true causes and effects later, as a pattern began to emerge.

After noting problems for a couple of weeks I was able to determine the design of most of my frustrations.  Looking at my notes I asked, "Are certain events more common at a certain time of day, on specific days or with predictable people or activities?"

When I am able to pick out common elements and themes, it becomes clear what needs to change. 

When my daughters were about three and four, one of my major frustrations was bedtime. Most nights the girls would go to bed without too many delays. 

Except for the nights that my children seemed to have had a cup of espresso for dinner. There were tears about the lights being turned off.  They needed a glass of water.  Or to go to the bathroom.  They were hungry. They wanted another story, another song, another prayer. They were too hot.  Too cold.  They couldn’t find their teddybear.  They heard a strange noise.  The neighbor’s light bothered them. One of them hit the other one.

On those nights I didn’t know what to do. Whatever I did, bedtime was anything but restful, and it felt like it was my fault. Surely, I was doing something wrong.

When I looked over my frustration notebook, I discerned a design. The nights that the girls were reluctant sleepers were the nights that their dad was out of town, back from a trip, had called to tell them goodnight, or arrived home for the evening 30 minutes before bedtime. Ah! Hah! My daughters’ nocturnal activities were directed toward trying to secure "daddy time." 

Once I saw the pattern, I was able to anticipate my daughters’ need for "daddy time" and work with my husband to coordinate phone calls and arrival times. On the nights my husband was out of town, the girls and I spent a few minutes drawing a picture for him, or I’d tell a special "daddy" story.

Looking in my notebook I found that my daughters’ disruptions weren’t their fault or my fault, or even my husband’s fault. I saw that if we couldn’t have a bowl of cherries, we could have at least have a "chair of bowlies."  We didn’t have to settle for the pits.

Next week: Leave It Ready For The Next Person

Kids Talk TM is a column dealing with childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt.  Ms. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She has over twenty-five years experience working with children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale.  Contact her at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..">This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  Visit MarenSchmidt.com.  Copyright 2013.

Maximizing your child’s learning with technology

  • Written by BPT

A practice that was once frowned upon, many schools are now encouraging students to bring their own tablets, smartphones and notebook computers into the classroom to improve student learning opportunities. With the rise of Bring Your Own Device (BYOD) programs, many parents are wondering how they can ensure their child has the most appropriate technology to help them succeed. The upcoming holiday season is a great opportunity to find the right device for your child.

If your student has the opportunity to participate in a BYOD program this year, you may have questions about the program and how you can ensure your child is as successful as possible. Read on to learn more about BYOD and what you can do to support your child’s learning in the digital world.

• What is a BYOD program? BYOD’s core appeal is that it enables schools to have personalized, one-to-one learning programs with greater student engagement and accountability, while allowing students and parents the freedom to choose the device that best meets their child’s individual needs.

• What device should I get for my child? Unlike school clothes, if you choose to invest a little more in a device, you won’t have to replace it next fall. For example, a Notebook/convertible UltraBook or 2 in 1 device with an Intel core processor and Windows 8 operating system grows with students as their learning needs evolve - it’s an investment your child can benefit from for many years. A 2 in 1 device allows your child to switch between a tablet and laptop, depending on their needs for the school project at hand. These devices weigh less than 4 pounds, so they won’t overload your child’s backpack. They also have the battery strength to keep going strong until the final bell.

Your child might also enjoy a device that allows her to draw, write, highlight, annotate and more on her digital touchscreens in a natural manner. Intel-powered Windows 8 tablets come with a new generation of "pens," which engage students in learning and allow educators to maximize the versatility and benefits of the technology they’re already using.

Another device option is a Chromebook, which can provide your child with a full Internet browsing experience at a lower cost. Although Chromebooks are limited in the types of applications and software they can run, they allow students to do real time collaboration and share their work with the world on the Web. They also have the flexibility to be personalized by each student or teacher.

• How can I help my child succeed? Now that your child has the right device for learning, you can help them use the technology effectively by giving them access to high quality educational resources. For example, the National Tech Goes Home website offers guidance and support for your child’s studying, including free resources to help students learn and play safely online, and it has helpful information for parents.

• What if my school doesn’t have a BYOD program? Visit k12blueprint.com and find a free toolkit that will help your school establish a BYOD program. With careful planning, the incorporation of student-owned devices within classroom instruction can be a driving factor in your child’s engagement and achievement in learning. The right technology can ensure your child maximizes his or her learning potential in a BYOD program.

Can your child’s after-school program lead to a STEM career?

  • Written by BPT

It’s important for parents to assess after-school or summer camp programs with a critical eye, and consider how successfully a program combines learning with fun and basic care.

While many programs are effective at keeping kids safely occupied after school ends but before parents are done with work, not all emphasize educational material. Programs that stimulate a child’s interest in STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) subjects can be particularly valuable – possibly even inspiring an interest in a high-demand STEM career.

An after-school program with a STEM emphasis can fulfill both the need to educate children and inspire a lifelong love of STEM subjects, experts agree. Parents seeking a STEM program for their children should look for one that:

* Offers creative and engaging activities that are as fun and motivational as they are educational.

* Encourages curiosity and creativity, which are building blocks of independent thinking.

* Draws on the real-life expertise of people working in STEM fields. For example, engineers and architects designed Bricks 4 Kidz modules.

* Uses familiar, loved learning tools, like LEGO (R) bricks, to provide hands-on, interactive STEM lessons.

To find a Bricks 4 Kidz program in your area, visit the interactive map at www.bricks4kidz.com/locations. You can learn more about the programs and search for a location by state or ZIP code.

Three easy tips for cooking with kids

  • Written by BPT

Once temperatures start to drop, keeping kids active can be a difficult task as weekends migrate away from park visits and Little League games to more time spent indoors. Luckily, there are plenty of things you can do in your own home to keep children engaged and help limit their video game and TV time. One of those things is cooking together, which reinforces math, science and reading comprehension skills while building great memories.

Keep your household free of the winter blues by following these simple steps to a successful and fun time with kids in the kitchen:

Establish good habits

Set good habits for your children by teaching them to wash their hands before, during and after cooking. Kid-friendly tools, like a small step stool or high-tech faucet, can help make reinforcing these habits even easier. Let your little sous-chefs know that they should wash their hands with soap and warm water for 20 seconds, by helping them count or singing the "Happy Birthday" song twice. Remember to set a good example by washing your own hands before and after eating and during the cooking process, as needed.

A Delta kitchen faucet featuring Touch2O Technology makes it easy to turn on and off the water with a simple tap anywhere on the faucet. Use the handle to set the water at a comfortable temperature for kids to lather up. When hands are messy, the back of a hand or forearm can be used to help keep the faucet clean and reduce the concern regarding mess or cross-contamination.

"As a lifestyle expert and baking connoisseur, I spend so much time in the kitchen and I’m always looking for ways to simplify things, especially when I have my son by my side," says Melissa Johnson, mother and founder of the popular lifestyle site, Best Friends for Frosting. "Touch2O Technology has made teaching my son the importance of washing his hands easier and lends a helping hand throughout the cooking process."

Different stages for different ages

Understanding which tasks your child is capable of doing is important. Children under 5 years old enjoy observing how recipes are compiled and can help out with small tasks like setting the table, while school-age children can strengthen their math skills as they help combine ingredients for recipes and practice cooking basics, like cracking an egg. This stage is a great time to introduce the importance of choosing nutritious ingredients for everyday cooking, which can help lay the groundwork for a healthy lifestyle. Tap teenagers for help by encouraging them to choose the menu or explore new and exciting cuisines.

Timing is everything

Avoiding a tight schedule is important. Instead of involving children in the dinner rush, enlist their help on a weekend afternoon when there is plenty of time for questions, experiments or careful demonstrations. Choose a time when everyone is well-rested and not easily frustrated.

Plan ahead when deciding what recipe you will cook together. For younger kids, consider starting with a simple dish that has fewer than five ingredients like a fruit salad or an easy muffin recipe. A pizza assembly line allows children to show their creativity by choosing their own mini-crusts, sauces, cheese and toppings.

Visit www.deltafaucet.com/InspiredLiving to find kid-friendly recipes, and take a kitchen personality quiz.

Tips and tricks for planning the perfect Halloween

  • Written by BPT

Planning the perfect Halloween can be pretty spooky, and it’s not just because of the ghosts and ghouls that run from door to door. Coordinating Halloween activities, planning a festive party and pulling off the perfect costume for each family member can be frightening. But with a few technology tricks, you’ll be rewarded with a lot of treats and plenty of fun to make this holiday one to remember.

Eerie e-vites set the tone for parties

Planning a Halloween party? Email invites are perfectly acceptable for a casual soiree. Send out e-vites a few weeks ahead of time to give friends and family plenty of notice. Be sure to mention that costumes are encouraged, and list any other important details, like if the party is potluck style. The best part of email invites is you’ll receive RSVPs electronically, so you can track responses and get the perfect amount of party supplies for all attendees. And if you have an Outlook.com email account, you can flag RSVPs to the top of your inbox for easy reference, and instantly chat with friends on Facebook, Skype or Gmail to firm up last minute details, right from your inbox.

Scary inbox? Organize email easily

If your inbox is a scary sight, it’s time to tap your magic wand for an organization transformation. With Outlook.com, it’s easy to sort through hundreds of messages in a few clicks. You can use the "sweep" feature to get rid of outdated emails you don’t need, like all those costume coupon deals that have expired.

Frightful or friendly, find the perfect costume

Whether young or old, Halloween is a time to let imaginations run wild and play pretend for the day. Finding the perfect costume for each member of the family can be a difficult and costly process. Track sales from your favorite Halloween supply stores and subscribe to email newsletters to get the latest alerts on costume trends and discounts. After Halloween is over, you can use Outlook.com’s one-click unsubscribe to get off all those email lists with little effort.

Access the perfect trick-or-treat schedule

Hit the candy motherload and have fun with all the neighborhood kids and parents by plotting your trick-or-treat schedule ahead of time. Upload it to SkyDrive and everyone can access it while en route on any device. Then, all you have to do is get your flashlights, candy bags and giggles ready.

Share boo-tiful photos from the day’s festivities

Whether you love your smartphone or are a diehard digital camera guru, there are bound to be plenty of fun photos the group needs to exchange. Use Outlook.com and SkyDrive together to share all your Halloween snaps in one mail – the file size doesn’t matter – and they will arrive in slideshow format! There’s no limit to the number of photos you can share and, since they’re all stored on SkyDrive, you can access them on any device anywhere, anytime. Share with Grandma and Grandpa, or gather the kids and relive the Halloween fun over and over again.