The Role of Grandparents in a Child’s Life

  • Written by Staff Educators at Bright Horizons School.
Parents and children of today face a very different world than those of the previous generation. Awareness of these differences can help today’s parents navigate the role of grandparents in a child’s life and, on the flip side, help grandparents play a special role in the family.

These days, health and safety issues are of much greater concern.

For example, today’s grandparents who had children before 1967 took them to school, to the playground and to their grandparents’ homes without the benefit of seat belts or car seats. Given what we now know about the dangers of automobile travel, it is unthinkable that anyone, much less infants and toddlers, would travel this way.

In addition, for many parents, second-hand smoke was an unknown danger to their children. Now, aware of the health risks it poses, today’s parents are becoming more conscious and making different decisions than their parents once did.

However, some things will never change  — love, genuine concern and dreams for our children. It’s important for grandparents to check with their grown children and be in sync with their parenting.

Does this mean grandparents have to follow the rules at all times? Probably not. What grandchild doesn’t like to stay up late at grandpa’s house, get another scoop of ice cream or rent an extra DVD? Grandma’s house can be a very special place with its own set of routines and rituals — it’s not meant to be the same as home, but be certain that the fun is still within the parenting parameters set by the child’s parents.

Communication and respect are key aspects of the grandparent-to-parent relationship.

If you’re a parent:

• Check  with your parents and partner’s parents. After you and your significant other, there is no one who loves your child more. Grandparents can be a wealth of knowledge .

• Let them know your expectations for your child. Sometimes this is difficult to do. How do you tell your own mother or mother-in-law, that you would like things done differently? The answer is honestly and respectfully.

• Find out what your child’s (and his/her partner’s) expectations are for your time with the grandchildren.

• Are there routines that they’d like you to maintain? Knowing just the right sequence at bedtime may make the time infinitely more pleasant.

• Learn your grandchild’s schedule. Knowing when meal time occurs, how much time the child needs to get ready for an event, when outside playtime is OK will allow you to provide more consistency for your grandchild.

• Are there some activities that are taboo? You don’t want to be the reason your grandchild loses privileges.

As grandparents, remember — your children are now the responsible adults who have created an entirely new nuclear family. You went through this process years ago, so remember how good it felt to be respected and have your decisions validated.

Childhood Apraxia of Speech – What makes it unique?

  • Written by Abigail Parris, MS CCC-SLP, Bothell Pediatric and Hand Therapy

One of the more controversial diagnoses a speech-language pathologist (SLP) can make in young children is childhood apraxia of speech.  This is largely due to how significant the impact can be.  But this diagnosis can mean many different things.  The term “apraxia” comes from the word praxis meaning “movement.”  An “a-praxia” suggests a lack of coordinated movement. This lack of coordinated movement can be mild, moderate or severe.  A child with apraxia of speech:

• May not coo or babble as an infant

• Uses only a few different consonant and vowel sounds

• Has problems combining sounds; may show long pauses between sounds

• Makes inconsistent sound errors that are not the result of immaturity

• Can understand language much better than he or she can talk

• Has difficulty imitating speech, but imitated speech is more clear than spontaneous speech

• May appear to be groping when attempting to produce sounds or to coordinate the lips, tongue and jaw for purposeful movement

• Has more difficulty saying longer words or phrases clearly than shorter ones

It is often difficult for a child with apraxia of speech to communicate their wants and needs using words.  These children typically have normal, if not strong overall communication skills and can compensate well.  For example, when a child is unable to sequence the sounds in “big,” he could gesture using his hands while attempting a vocal approximation of “big.”

A quick look at treatment:  Childhood Apraxia of Speech involves difficulty coordinating the muscles used for speech; it is not a muscle weakness.  Use of strength-building exercises will not improve the coordination difficulties observed in these children.  Speech therapy for apraxia focuses on improving coordination for specific sounds, syllables, and words.  Basically, the goal is to “over-learn” which muscles need to be activated and in what order to produce words.  If you have concerns about your child’s speech sound development, do not hesitate to schedule an evaluation with a Speech-Language Pathologist.

To find a Speech-Language Pathologist near you visit BPHT’s staff profile page at or The American Speech and Hearing Association at

Hidden Thoughts How Negative Emotions Can Shut Down Language and Learning

  • Written by Erica Peterson, Dartmoor School
Violence. Failure. War. These words trigger unpleasant thoughts — so unpleasant, in fact, that our subconscious minds don’t want us to think about them too deeply, researchers at Bangor University have found. Their pioneering study, originally intended to shed light on the inner workings of the bilingual brain, stumbled across surprising evidence that our subconscious minds block access to language in order to mitigate the impact of negative emotion.

It was a complex experiment. Psychologists Yan Jing Wu and Guillaume Theirry gave a group of English-speaking Chinese students multiple sets of English words pairs and asked them to determine whether or not the words were related in meaning. But this wasn’t a test of reading comprehension. Instead, the researchers secretly engineered English word pairs for the test that, when translated into Chinese, would yield counterparts with similar sounds. Words that sound similar but have different meanings take a longer time to process than words that both sound different and mean different things; so while the English word pairs could be processed relatively quickly, their Chinese counterparts would take a longer time.  Meanwhile, researchers measured participants’ brain activity and correlated that data with participants’ response times.  Through measuring response times to word pairs, researchers confirmed that Chinese students were typically accessing the Chinese counterparts to the English words they were shown as a part of the language processing necessary for the task.

But not always. In word pairs where the first word indicated a negative concept, Chinese students maintained consistently quick response times, regardless of sound similarities in the Chinese translations of the word pairs. Though participants were unaware of any difference in their thought processes, their test responses clearly indicated that the Chinese counterparts to the word pairs were not included in the language processing task when the words were negative. In other words, participants’ brains were blocked from accessing negative ideas in their native language. Why? Because negative concepts are felt more deeply when they are embodied by words from one’s native language. By blocking participants’ brains from accessing their native speech, this spontaneous censorship created a mental buffer between negative ideas and participants’ feelings.

The study brings up a wealth of other questions about the role of subconscious processes in learning and language. After, if simply looking at a bad word is enough to trigger subconscious language suppression, then how might real-life experiences affect language function, memory, attention, and a host of other cognitive processes required for learning?  What else might our brains shut down to shield us from negative experiences? This study adds to the growing pile of evidence that learning and emotion are deeply intertwined, whether learners themselves are aware of it or not. The bottom line for parents and educators?  Learning involves our students’ hearts as well as their minds, and we are thus charged with caring for both.

Five favorites for kids

  • Written by Emily Bishton, of Green Light Gardening
Think back to your first garden memories … did your love of plants begin when you were small, and the world of your own back yard seemed so big?  Would you like your own children to be inspired by their back yard too? Here are five simple activities that are sure-fire favorites:

1) Grow food that’s fun to eat.  All berry plants are a huge hit with children, because they are easy for their small hands to pick and a sweet reward for their gardening help.  Raspberries also fit on fingertips for a portable snack!

2) Grow food for birds. Native plants each provide flowers, fruits, seeds or shelter that attract native songbirds which are fascinating for children to observe. These plants are a beautiful addition to your garden, too!

3) Plant a tree to celebrate a special occasion, whether in your own yard or as a part of community volunteering, a tree that planted together is a touchstone for a child’s life from then on.

4) Create a sensory walk.  Fragrant-leafed herbs inspire “scratch ‘n sniff” garden tours or tea parties, and plants with super-soft leaves create comfy beds for elves and fairies!

5) Add some art. Children love to make a garden their own by creating painted rocks, signs, scarecrows, or steppingstones.

Emily Bishton directs the Magnuson Jr. Nature Explorers Program. Visit Emily at

3 Myths about Homework

  • Written by Erica Peterson, Campus Manager, Dartmoor School, Woodinville
Students hate it. Teachers love it. Parents dread it because it is so hard to get done. Homework is an opportunity for students to develop long-term memory of the skills they learn in school, but for many families, homework causes nothing but headaches as parents and students wrestle over its accomplishment.  Sometimes in an effort to make the grade, families waste time and energy fighting over things that aren’t actually important when it comes to completing homework. Fortunately, common misconceptions that cause parents extra grief can be avoided. The following are a few of the most widespread fallacies.

#3. My student should not stop working until all homework is complete.

While it is true that distractions negatively impact the completeness and accuracy of homework, students still need to take strategic breaks, especially when the time required for homework completion is an hour or more.  Strategic breaks can help increase the flow of blood to a student’s brain and remedy low blood sugar. Breaks that include a healthy snack and some exercise are particularly valuable. Also, the brain’s ability to focus waxes and wanes in cycles; in fact, a human’s ability to maintain focus at the highest levels of concentration only lasts for about ten minutes. Altering the type of activity in which the brain is engaged at moments of low attention relieves stress and allows re-engagement by working with the natural attention cycles of the brain.

#2. My student should do the hardest task first.

Actually, many students, particularly those who have trouble with self-confidence, benefit from starting off with a task that is easy enough to allow them to build momentum and have a sense of accomplishment. Starting with the easiest task helps students overcome procrastination and remember that they are capable.  A student who is already nervous or reluctant to approach homework will have a far greater obstacle to surmount if they have to start off with an object of dread. The worse the initial step looks, the sweeter escape will appear.

#1. My student refuses to do homework because she is lazy.

In adults as well as students, procrastination on a task is a sign that the individual anticipates a negative experience as a consequence of completing the task. If a student is reluctant to do her homework, it is most likely because something about the homework experience is significantly unpleasant. The most strategic approach to reducing procrastination is to find out why a student dislikes his or her homework so much. It is very common for students to anticipate that they will fail at their homework because they are not sure how to break down a large task into manageable steps, or because they had trouble learning the skill they should be practicing, or because the homework requires them to exercise a cognitive skill that is weak. The best remedy for procrastination in these situations is alleviating the issue causing distress. Helping the student determine how break down a task, re-teaching topics, or getting professional help to teach the student how to cope with a weak cognitive area—these tactics overcome natural reluctance by directly addressing the source of students’ negative feelings about homework.  Frequently, students do not know how to identify the origin of their negative anticipation, so discovering the source of dread can be difficult. However, it is always well worth the time and effort.