Opinion

Perhaps it's time to rename the city of Woodinville

rename Woodinville In the spirit of the times of modernization and market management, I think we should rename the city of Woodinville. After all, there are many local issues that are redefining the area.
   To encourage debate over a name change, I offer the following suggestions:
   1. How about Dumbville? I mean, many of us thought that the area could remain rural, have decent services, and have a government sensitive to a peaceful lifestyle.
   2. Maybe Greedville? As the saying goes, "Follow the money trail." I wonder who profits from downtown real estate transactions, proposed developments, and other assorted "improvements"? How come money and politicians seem like hand in glove? Specialinterestville?
   3. Do you think Aurora-Avenue-ville is too long a name? Woodinville's main streets could look that way someday. You know, the land of the perpetual blue light special.
   4. Does Kicktheoldfolksoutoftownville sound too cynical? Legalville?
   5. Perhaps Fivedollars/hourville is too matter of fact. Yet all the proposed new businesses are going to be hiring plenty of minimum wage workers. Gee, I wonder if corporate profits are staying locally or will be trucked out of state? But that sounds too much like Greedville, Absenteeownersville, or Foreigninvestorville. On the plus side, with so many of our kids working in the local stores, we won't need Teen Centers or parks. Nofunville.
   6. Fewvotesville. Just look at how few of us voted in the last elections. All it seems to take is a mouthful of cliches, money, a few hundred votes and you can get elected. And you wonder about the people being elected?
   7. The way we're headed I don't think we can use Parksville, Touristville, Charmingville, or Qualityoflifeville.
   8. The following names are too obvious but are still worth mentioning: Novisionville, Shoppingcartville, Trafficjamville, Crowdedville, Tackyville, Watchyourbackville, Movesomewhereelseville.

Bill Stankus, Woodinville