July 8, 2002
'Venison all around'
"She must be powerful late for something!" my pal Daniel exclaimed as the shiny new Mercedes SUV zipped past us. "Yeah, and this is a no passing zone too," I replied. There were two kids in the back and the temporary new car paper license was still taped to the back window. We were driving home on one of those curving two-lane rural roads in eastern King County.
A few miles up the road we rounded a curve and came upon that same Mercedes SUV, parked in the middle of the road with the emergency flashers punching little red holes in the gathering twilight.We pulled up behind the car and got out. The mom was on her cell phone dramatically explaining something to someone. There was an injured deer with wild eyes lying half on the road - still kicking. The front right fender of the new Mercedes had some very expensive-looking damage.
As I approached the mom and waited for her to conclude her frantic phone call, I saw Daniel approaching the deer. He was reaching for that big buck knife he always carries on his belt. I was just about to ask the mom if the really wanted her kids to see what was going to happen next when a chorus of "ewwwww" from the back seat indicated it was already too late. Daniel (farm boy that he is) slit the deer's throat with one deft stroke and pulled the creature further off the road to bleed out in the ditch.
"Was that necessary?" the mom asked. "Yep," I said.
"You were driving too fast, mom!" came a child's voice from the back seat. "Quiet!" snapped the mom.
"Hope your insurance is paid up." Daniel commented dryly, looking at the front fender of the Mercedes.
"My husband is gonna kill ME!" the mom exclaimed. Then she thanked us for stopping and hurried off toward her destination.
"Folks should slow down on these country roads," I commented. "It's hard to see around curves ..."
"Or maybe ... move back to the city!" Daniel spat as their tail-lights winked off around the next bend.
We put the deer carcass in the back of my truck and took it to a friend's house to be dressed and put in the freezer.
"Venison all around." Daniel said.
Mark Plummer, Carnation